i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I didn't notice because vodka
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
