YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
