I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize