Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
