Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
