Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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