Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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