??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize