Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
