But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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