Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
