and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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