the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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