I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
