I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
