Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
