I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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