the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
