STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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