There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
