BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
