pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
