now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
