i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Oh god it's open bar.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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