let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
