I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
