Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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