I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I need to calm my uterus...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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