It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
