Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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