I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
