Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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