you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
