the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
