How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
