dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
