Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
