Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize