btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize