Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
