There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
So much Jack, so little girl.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
