Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
