o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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