I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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