420 ftw
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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