A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
