just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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