my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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