I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
