I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Randomize
