Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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