absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
my shit smells like andre
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
