id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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