I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
