i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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