I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
