remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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