I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Dicks are not precious.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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