my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
