TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
