She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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