It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
