Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
